Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Happy New Year and Hiatus...

Happy New Year all! This is the Christmas card that I send out to my loved ones and wanted to share how cute my sweetie is with all of you as well!  I love that we did not plan the fact that I am in all white and he is in all black!  Good and Evil? Ha ha...


Apologies for the unannounced hiatus.  I really do not know what happened!  I was out of town for Christmas in a land of no wireless (which every once in awhile is a good thing!) and Bean and I still have 2 more x-mas with family to go!  

So Merry Merry to you all and I will be posting my resolutions soon!  I will be a slow poster till after the New Year (as if I am a fast poster now...LOL!)  

Blogging is becoming such a release for me and I am sure that in my New Year's resolutions I will have a better commitment to what I want it to look like for me!

Thanks for all you support.

Loves!








Thursday, December 17, 2009

Zara and The Black Nativity

I went to go see The Black Nativity: A Gospel last night and LOVED IT! I have wanted to see it for years and this year Sanjaya (from American Idol fame) was a character in it. He definitely wasn’t the star, as so many of that choir voices were amazing!

I was moved to tears during more than one performance… I wish I could have taken all of you with me!
This is what I wore and I love this outfit so much. It feels like my personality is hanging on the outside of my body…It really sums me up. Bright, complicated, soft, girly, and fun. Enjoy!

Dress: Zara
Shirt: H&M
Necklace: F21
Tights: TJ MAXX
Shoes: Nordstrom

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Holiday Party...

Did someone say "Black Tie"?

In these polished, yet laid back styles, all eyes will be on you! These outfits stand alone, or could be the next big "power" couple! Blending the gold and silver accents on both looks say that we may be together, but we are still individuals. Cocktail or merger, anyone?


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Holiday MADNESS...


Hi all~

Now that I am trying to be a better and more regular blogger, I have found that it isn't as easy as I thought!  Although it turns out to be my favorite part of the day, the day sometimes doesn't seem long enough.

I have outfit posts on my camera (but not uploaded to the MAC yet).  I am off for the weekend to my parents to celebrate my brother's birthday...

See ya on Sunday with outfit posts!

I leave you with this...

With the weather being in the 20's now, I wish I was back here!  

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Loehmanns!

So for those of you who don't know, Loehmanns is like the designer TJ MAXX. I found out about it when I lived in So Cal this summer. I was SURE that we didn't have them where I live until I was driving on a random highway and there it WAS! In all its glory!

I think it is the only one in the state! Bean and I went to visit it the other day and it is so AMAZING! Designer clothes at discount prices (which to me is still too much to spend right now!)

I heart it. A LOT.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Mad for Monday Plaid

I am literally obsessed with these boots.  They slouch a little too much sometimes, but I forgive them.  The fold down option makes me feel a bit piratey (totally not a word but fitting just the same).  Arg Matey!  Happy Monday!







Boots:  Chinese Laundry
Socks:  (Leg Warmers) Goodwill
Dress: TJ Maxx
Vest:  Nordstrom
Bracelet: Aldo
Coat: Gift (years ago...)

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Dinner with Friends

We get together with our friends every other week to catch up.  It is such a nice thing to look forward to.  I also made the mistake of looking up the calorie counts for the restaurant we were going to before we left.  I guess in my I am trying to lose 15 lbs mode, it wasn't  mistake but a plan.  Yikes!  How does broccoli have 10 grams of fat in it?  What did you do to it?  Ha ha...









Shoes:  Nicole via Ross
Shirt (worn as a shrug):  American Eagle
Jeans:  Citizens
Dress:  Quiksilver Womens
Belt:  TJ Maxx

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Dancing with Myself (in mixed prints)





I love these photos for a lot of reasons.  They were taken at my most favorite place on EARTH:  The Madonna Inn.  It was my first time and there was a real band playing favorites from when my gramma was a girl!  Horn section and all.  I couldn't bear sitting down for one more second, so I jumped up and started dancing by myself.  My loving boyfriend just smiled and took these shots of me mingling with dancers 30 years older than me.  

I longed to be a part of what they had.  I want to be a old woman one day still blushing when my hubby asks me to dance. But I have to say...I rather enjoy dancing with myself!

(cue Dancing with Myself )



Dress and Cardi- TJ Maxx
Boots- ALDO
Earrings- Claires (and now lost... BOO)

P.S. This post would be a lot cooler if you play the music and really dance by yourself with reckless abandon!  

P.P.S. Also I may recycle old outfit pics till I can set up a remote to my camera!  But I will also put new ones up!  

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

~My first outfit post~ For Tieka!



Here we go with the underlining again... Does anyone have a clue what I have done to make it do that?!?  Oh well.  I'll deal.

So the above is my attempt to take a shot of my outfit yesterday inspired by Tieka over at Selective Potential. 

I am a newbie so please don't judge too hard.  I definitely have questions of how these amazing bloggers get such great quality photos!  I had to run back and forth pushing my timer on then run over and pretend to pose cute and aloof at the same time.  Maybe someday I will post the outtakes!  LOL!

Blazer: Thrifted (Goodwill$5 )
Jeggings (TJ MAXX $12)
Burn Out tee (Urban $23)
Tank (James Perse)
Boots (Chinese Laundry $45)

And so it begins!

(and look at that...No more underlines?  Odd!)



Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Family Dynamics



Let me start this post with the fact that I love my family. LOTS.

When we get together for holidays, I remember that as a kid this was the only time we were usually all together. My dad was gone for his job a lot, but was home in the winters for the most part. I think that is why I love December so much!

So as much as we all play a role in our family...I am forever the baby. Even though I now have a younger brother, I am still the baby. My dad put it all in perspective for me this weekend with a simple statement: It's the card you have drawn. And it's your choice to play it or not.

And BANG...It made me realize that I DO play it. It is like auto pilot is on when it comes to family dynamics in my family and on a normal day these dynamics are mostly on mute, but on a HOLIDAY it's as if someone turned on the surround sound!

Here is what I am thankful for about my family:

DAD: He is a goofball at all the wrong times, but when you need him to step up... HE ALWAYS WILL. He has a lot of odd wisdom. I love him.

MOM: She is the eternal peacekeeper, but in a quite non-partial way. It takes brilliance to not take sides. And when you get her alone, away from all judgmental eyes and ears, she is the funniest person I have ever met. I love her.

SISTER: She is the epitome of devil's advocate. She plays both sides like a dueling piano. She is a genius like that. She is really great at retaining information and is smart in a way that I will never understand. We are polar opposites and I love her.

BROTHER: He brings joy to all of us for the sheer fact that he is 12 years old.  What a fun time! I love him.

My family can drive me crazy in ways you can't even imagine (or in ways you can!)

But I am thankful everyday that I have them there to drive me crazy. Maybe one day everyone will realize that the family role they play is just that...a role...you can play it or let it go...

And one day I will be able to invite them all to my house and create the Holiday that I have always envisioned in my head. My home, my husband, my kids. But for now, I am thankful to be a part of someone else's dream.


Monday, November 23, 2009

Knee Socks and Buster Browns

So in the interest of saving the feet I was born with, I had to quit teaching in 5 inch heels. I know, I know...It pains me to have to admit it (but the pain in my feet is way worse!) I used to be unfazed by it. I don't know what happened. My feet finally gave me the big fatty finger.

SO I went comfy shoe shopping (which I still hate that I did it) and found a pair of shoes. I also bought a pair of thigh high black boots to offset the nausea of wearing anything made by BORN.

I called my mom and told her I bought a pair of shoes that I am sure that I also had at the age of 5. My mom loved a strong pair of Buster Brown T-straps...Maybe that is why I was drawn to them.

I decided to "fun" them up and wear pink argyle knee highs with them. You know to show a bit of humor in the fact that Queen High Heel was joining the "comfort shoe crowd". So I show up to school and low and behold...

I am dressed exactly like one of my students. We both have wicked sense of personal style if I do say so myself! Hence the picture above!

Loves!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

"She could be a Farmer in those clothes..."

So the line above is from the movie Clueless...but seriously happened to me in real life yesterday.  I get it.  I dress like myself and that means I do NOT look like 98% of the population.  I have been dealing with the repercussions of having my own style my whole life.  People don't always understand, but sure do want MY help when it comes to a big event for them.  The story yesterday was just that.  Someone (parent) told someone else that she was pissed that my school doesn't wear costumes to school on Halloween when (and semi quote) "I mean, you have a teacher dressed up like a farmer today".  Hmmm...  OK.  I WAS wearing cowboy boots and pigtails, but that is way more Eli Mae than farmer.LOL!

So I was hurt, but it is NOTHING new.  I can take it.  So to prove to that big B that I didn't give a ish what she thought, I sported these adorable socks with my equally adorable high heels.  Take that!  

So go eat your lunch in your boring black pea coat and predictable black pants with your predictable Kenneth Cole boots.  

and I will keep pushing fashion forward for you.

Loves!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Shame on me...

THIS has been keeping me at full tilt..as well as an hour commute both ways to get here and home. BUT...I got an apartment and I am so EXCITED to move in! I promise as soon as that happens, my blog (and life!) will be better attended to!

Smooches!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

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Sorry for being M.I.A.  I have about a  trillion (yeah, I said it) things to do and about 5 mins to get it all done.  I am moving out of my apt (a victory for me, but NOT good timing!), moving into my new school (in which my furniture did not show up, so I have to work on Labor Day), look for a new apt, oh and breathe.  Impossible you say?  Nah.  But my normally non-drinking self has taking a liking to wine....

It all has to be done by Monday.  School Starts Wednesday. 

If you have any energy, can you send it my way?

Monday, August 31, 2009

Got Mold?

Seriously.  I found this yesterday in my apartment that was SO CALLED taken care of after the leak.  I so do NOT call this taken care of.  I found this thanks to my sensitive nose and gut instinct. (oh and using a hammer to pry off the baseboards and rip back the carpet!)

I can't even go into the fact that my landlord thinks that this isn't hazardous to my health at all.  Why would he, right?  HE left it like this to save a few bucks.  I can't even go into it because I am so frustrated I CAN'T type properly as my anger is making all the letters on my keyboard spell bad words.

I will keep you updated on the situation. I am typing this from Bean's apartment because my house is inhabitable, but my a-hole landlord won't compensate me by deducting $ off my rent for the days I cannot stay in my apartment because "you actually sleep upstairs".  Yeah.  That is what he said. 

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Where's Spencer?

Look at these glorious BOYS!  I have missed them SO MUCH!  I finally got to see them and it brought tears to my eyes to hug their little bodies again. *sigh*  What a great feeling!

The last few days were filled with reconnecting with friends I haven't seen in a long time, meeting the newest member of my family, hugging my dad and staying up late giggling with my mom.

It was amazing.  

Friday, August 21, 2009

Self Editing with a side of teasing...

So for those of you who do not know this already, I love fashion.  I have discovered that my best model for my mixes and remixes (outfits and restyled pieces) is me.  I am the only one with the patience to sit through all the clothing changes without getting paid! :)  I have been faithfully following some MAJA cool blogs about girls and what they are wearing.  And get this...They set up tripods and take pictures of themselves!  Isn't that amazing!  I bet that they don't even feel guilty about it.  Why should they, right?  

My Style Pill

Style Rookie (BTW this is the coolest 13 year old I have ever known, and don't know her!)

What I wore

I would love to be this free, and as you can see above, am on occasion.  I like finding the point in which you can see the details of the clothes and the way they hang.  SO what holds me back from a full on "what I wore" blog?  I guess it is the fear of being teased.  I hate being teased.  I shouldn't because I have been teased a lot in my life about being too sensitive (sure tease the sensitive one, she's an easy target!), about being vain (goes hand in hand with wanting to photograph yourself, I guess), occasionally speaking so fast I stutter (my brain has a lot to say and sometimes my mouth can't keep up!) or taking extreme fashion risks in a high school of less than 150 kids.  Don't get me wrong I can laugh at myself and am extremely fun loving, but personal attacks I do not do well.  

So this is a cathartic post as I am working on being my authentic self (thanks for that post Julie!).  It is courageous to be exactly who you are and not feel ashamed or embarrassed.  I feel that writing it down was my first step in shaking this feeling.

And hopefully someday soon, you will see my fully styled self with a tripod in a park near you!


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

These shoes vs UPS

I have been waiting for these shoes for 3 weeks.  They should have been at my house in 3 days.  I have never had  such a hard time with shipping in MY LIFE!  I would rush home everyday to see if these faboosh sandals were on my front porch, and the answer was always NO.  So I called UPS, they told me even with the tracking number they had been misplaced.  I had a day nightmare (like a day dream but scary) that these LAST PAIR of Sam Edelman Flats had fallen off the truck and someone else who didn't LOVE LOVE LOVE them as much as I did was going to wear them. *tear*.  So they finally found them in some warehouse in Laguna Beach, and promised to get them to me the next day.  They did not come.  SO I finally called again.  Nordstrom wanted to order me a new pair, but this was the last one in the system.  To make this long story short, I seriously had to call the drivers on the route cell phone and meet him at the Urban Outfitters to pick them up...

I was thoroughly annoyed until...I opened the box.  Then I was instantly in a good mood.  

They were perfect!

P.S.

Sorry all for the gap in blogs.  I was offline for a few days!  


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Studio Time with ROXY

 

My last two days at ROXY were absolutely amazing.  I was helping our showroom coordinator with the 2010 Spring Look Book.  Basically it is the greatest pieces in the collection styled in our own way.  I helped style all the looks (30 of them) and had a blast.  We really took ideas from the runway and used them in a way that translated to ROXY.  Roxy is aging up their brand and the pieces are looking amazing.  It was really great to be with a group of people who were so passionate about each look and took it very seriously (as seriously as I do).  I may dress very kitschy and whimsical, but I am still very serious about the pieces I choose.  It is very intentional.  It just felt so good to be a part of the fashion forecasting for ROXY.  The model we used was pretty much the cutest and tallest girl you have ever seen.  Man, models are constantly being pulled one way and the other.  Something that sounds so glamourous is a lot of being tugged at, poked with pins, and constantly told what they should be doing (relax the face, more edgy, softer in the eyes...).  They are basically a human hanger. She did an amazing job and the Look Book is going to freakin' kill it! (that means do really well!)

This is what I was born to do.  

What an amazing experience!


Monday, August 10, 2009

Packing...Gracefully.

I am trying to pack my room in preparation for the move back to Seattle.  I saw this skirt hanging in the closet and felt a little apprehension about its safety in a plastic garbage bag shoved in my car for over 20 hours.  So I left it alone and almost instantly  became severely unmotivated to pack.  I am leaving with a full heart, but sadness is still following me.  I really like the work I have been doing.  I kept roaming around my room and not really making any progress when I decided to take a picture of the skirt.  It was feeling what I was feeling.  The picture made me even more sad, so to cheer myself (and the skirt) up, I decided it would be a lot more fun to pack IN this skirt and swish around like a ballerina!  So I put it on!  I now feel a lot prettier, but it didn't help at all in packing my room.

Boo.  But a very Ballerina Pretty Boo.



Above all, this makes me smile.

video

This is one of my nephews loving the swing!  This makes me smile because I love swings and love to find a park that has swings that go really high! (SB has some pretty good ones!) 

 I had a swing set when I was younger that wasn't anchored down that great, and I would swing so high on it that my mom  thought it would flip over! It would come way up on one side and thunk back down.  I can still remember that sound of it.  

I used to have this crazy fantasy (used to meaning I still wish it could happen) that I would swing so high that I would go all the way over the top. Like swinging in a huge circle.  Wouldn't that be so fun?  The fantasy says YES!

Have you ever have any of those daydreams?  

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Obtaining space.

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I tell myself it all the time.  If I just had more space I would:

Be more organized

Not forget to turn off my curling iron

Put away my makeup

Not throw my clothes on the floor

Be happier

Do pilates

Know where all my earrings were

Have a better routine

Learn how to sew

And Quilt

Are these lies that I tell myself?  
Or if I really had the space would these things actually happen?

I want to believe that it would actually happen.  Hmmm...I guess all that there is left to do is test this theory.

Ah...Yes.  Here lies the problem again.  Space.




Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I heart the G.O.!

For those of you that have NEVER been to the Grocery Outlet, you are missing out! They have the best stuff (and the best stuff always goes fast) and also a lot of organic products for seriously half of what you would pay at dare I say...Safeway. My sister always calls me to tell me that she got like 3 bags of groceries at the outlet for _____. (fill in that blank with an incredibly low number!)

Now if you have never been, it isn't a place you make a list to go to. You just go and see what they have. It's fun. I love their health and beauty section. I always walk out with SOMETHING. Right now, I want this patio set, but do not have a patio! Ha ha...

The G.O. has been in my life for years, and will be for years to come. All are individually owned, and I have biases to which are better than others. Albany G.O is one of the best! (Hi Shanny! Good Luck today!)

Go and tell me what your favorite bargain was...

Mine lately has been Goat soap for $.99!

Loves!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Look closely...THIS IS NOT ART!

I got a phone call on Saturday morning telling me that THIS pipe in my Seattle apartment living room burst causing a major hole in the drywall and a fire hydrant like spray flooding my apartment.  I seriously almost lost it right then and there on the phone.  (BTW the pic above is after the plumber replaced the pipe and cut a nicer hole).  If you know me, you know that I am a weirdo about my stuff.  

I love it.  

I searched for it.

 I stole it from my mother (sorry mom).

I got up at 5am to be the first in line at an estate sale to find it. 

 I held it in my lap as a little girl until my Gramma Margaret said that I could have it.

Did I mention that I love it?

 I mean the pic on the wall above the hole was actually in the Bagley's HOME and I bugged them enough to sell it to me OFF THEIR WALL.  

To be so far away and hear that my stuff may potentially be ruined left me in tears.  Ask my family or my besties about my favorite sweater that was lost by the airlines YEARS ago.  I still wish I had it and still bring it up.  So you get the gist...

I sit here knowing that I cannot bring closure to this until I see it for myself and that makes me sick to my stomach.  I am the girl who has to take care of everything RIGHT away and am antsy till things are set right. (I am like this with relationships too.  How fun for the peeps around me that need space! Ha ha...)

Ugh.  Grrr. Ugh.

And here I sit at a loss to how to end this blog with something positive or witty...

but I don't really want to be either right now, so I won't.






Thursday, July 30, 2009

Roxy Japan

I just found out the other day that ROXY has divisions all over the world that have their own designers...  ROXY Australia is super hot for real leather jackets, and ROXY Brazil has some of the sexiest (and smallest) bikinis ever and the wet suit zip up vest is from our ROXY Japan line...I think it kind of looks like leather in this pic.

Loves!


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Angels in the outfield!

I went to the Angels game last night and it was F~U~N!

They won and I got a free jersey!  AND to top it off I could see Disneyland's fireworks from my seat as well as the Angels had their own fireworks!  

Good times!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Pizookies and Urban Hiking

A cookies and cream pizookie used to sit in this dish.  It was the best thing that happened to me on Sunday: Hanging out with people I like and eating the best dessert in the world.

Other things that happened on Sunday that didn't come close to being pizookie good were:  Urban hiking for over an hour, getting knocked down by a HUGE wave, rubbing sand in my own eye, mountain climbing, being ROXY excited, and finding half the beach in the bottom's of my bikini...

I want more pizookie and I want it know!

amen.



Saturday, July 25, 2009

US Open of Surfing

I was down in at Huntington Beach yesterday for a Dear and Yonder screening and this is what the beach looked like!  It was madness!  Usually you can see the water from here, but this is such a huge event and they have stages and booths everywhere!  It is basically a festival on the sand.  It took me 15 mins to get to the water from here (when usually it would take me 3).  I got to watch some heats of the US Open and the waves were HUGE due to a tropical storm in the south.  A couple of ROXY surfers made it to the semi's...They surf today for the finals.  Good Luck Ladies!

Have a great weekend!

XOXO

Friday, July 24, 2009

It's 3 a.m. I must be lonely...for Jerry Springer?

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So last night I accidently fell asleep with my TV on.  And for those who don't know, I do NOT have cable in my apt down here.  I brought my little TV with me and plugged it into the wall just to see what I would get...Well I get three channels.  One is the HSN (Home Shopping Network) and one is CBS while the other is a miss mash of just some good and some bad reruns.  

So again I fell asleep with my TV on and woke up at 3:15 in the morning to Jerry Springer.  I don't think that I have watched this show in years... but 20 minutes later I realized that I was awake actually watching JERRY SPRINGER.  It sucked me in!  Even at 3 am!  I even thought about turning the TV off and decided to let it go to one more commercial till I did.  It did not disappoint and the only repercussion that my tryst with Springer at 3 a.m. produced was that I woke up late for work...

Damn you Springer! :)




Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Water Aerobics VS THIS...


So as I sit here SUPER  sore from water aerobics, I came across this photo that I sent to Bean.  This is what I did all weekend long last weekend and I did not feel guilty AT ALL that I listened to my iPod till it died, read most of my book and actually fell asleep for awhile (which is really strange as my body has a hard time sleeping in public!).  

The flip was that yesterday I started my water aerobics class (which snicker if you want, but those classes are as HARD as you want them to be!).  I frog hopped and bicep (can you use this as a singular?)  curled my way through the pool.  It felt good to move my body and laugh with people I didn't know about how uncoordinated one can feel under the water.

BUT...

Today I had my chance to do either...Go to water aerobics with my sore self or catch the last rays of the day (seriously only about 20 minutes worth of laying out time!) and I chose....

the 20 minutes in the sun of course!  I read my book and rested my day away.

Come on....If you know me, this story does NOT have a surprise ending!  :)

LOVES!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Anthony Kiedis wants YOU to go watch Dear and Yonder!

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So Friday night's screening of Dear and Yonder in Venice Beach was a huge success!  I had to work the door all night, checking people off "the list".  I tried to accommodate anyone who came to the door that was excited about the movie, and hopefully did an OK job.  There were 200+ people that showed up!  Quik/ROXY pulls a pretty respectful, laid back crowd (which is nice for event organizers and security.)  I worked my ass off (and at one point I had to carry 15 cases of water up a flight of stairs... not a favorite pastime of mine :), but it was worth it to show my uppie ups that I am NOT afraid of the dirty work and it felt great to contribute to a such a rockin' event.

And yes Anthony Kiedis was there (with Rick Rubin). He was amazingly kind and  I am sure that he really does want you to go watch DEAR AND YONDER! :) 

There are showings all over the country, so follow the link, find your place and save the date!


See you there!



Thursday, July 16, 2009

Get outside!

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HEY ALL!  I have a super busy weekend ahead of me.  Tomorrow I am working at the premiere of the movie "Dear and Yonder" for ROXY.  Then hopefully off to my girl Janeline's to chill, catch up, eat good Korean food and watch her show at the KEY CLUB.  I will take pics and tell you about it on Sunday!

(Recognize the pic, Bean?)


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Anti-Mall

I thought that this was a pretty ingenious fountain at a place called the Anti-mall.  It still is a place to shop, but they are too hip and cutting edge to want to be called a mall.  Whatev.  The fountain was surrounded by a cool little sitting area so I copped a squat and took this photo for all of you to enjoy it with me!

I think I hear my bed calling me...*yawn* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz



Tuesday, July 14, 2009

They chose MY proposal!!! HOLY CRAP!

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I submitted an idea for a proposal for the introduction of ROXY Athletix to fashion magazines around the US and they CHOSE MINE!  I can't believe it... The basic layout is like the one above (I did this one on photobucket:the poor man's photoshop, the  Quiksilver visual team will do the real one).  I wrote the "hook"  and for those that REALLY know me... shhhhhh don't tell anyone that I barely remember what it is like to actually run! Ha ha...

I will show you the REAL DEAL when it is finished and I get a copy.  

I also made my first "uh oh" mistake today.  I was redirected on how to do things and at first I was a little upset: upset for making the mistake, embarrassed for making the mistake and mad at myself for making such a stupid mistake.  I then stopped and took a deep breath.  I told myself that I have only been here for a week and sometimes you learn the most by making mistakes.  Because believe me, I won't do it again. (By the way the mistake I made was that I forgot to put the subject heading in an email.  It may not seem that big, but to a director who gets 100's of emails a day, it is a time waster).

I am human.  I make mistakes.  I will make a lot more in my life.  But I also have triumphs in my life and  I will count those as I fall asleep tonight...